Schwarz Shorts
by heechan
Summary: Just some random silliness with the Schwarz guys...
1. God's Sense of Humor

Schwarz Shorts! (Thanks to Yotan for the title)  
Brad: Schuldig, this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that my underwear drawer is gone, would it?  
Warnings: Boredom. OOC. Stupidity. Shounen-ai implied.  
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Schuldig ran into Farfarello's room. "Farfie! Farfie!" he shouted excitedly. "I can prove God has a sense of humor!"  
Farfarello's head snapped up from his knives. "What?"  
Schuldig grinned. "I just saw Bradly with his pants down!"  
Outside the door, Crawford cursed.  
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Hit next for the next one... ^^; No, really...  
~IcyBlue360@aol.com~ 


	2. Party Time!

Schwarz Shorts! (Thanks to Yotan for the title)  
Brad: Schuldig, this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that my underwear drawer is gone, would it?  
Warnings: Boredom. OOC. Stupidity. Shounen-ai implied.  
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Nagi crawled to the ground. His eyes slid slowly from side to side.  
"Some strange power is afoot," he whispered. In the background, Schuldig and Farfarello danced in shiny pink party hats. Schuldig ran up to Crawford.  
"Bradleeeeeeee! Do the Macarena with me!!!"  
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Next chapter, next short.  
~IcyBlue360@aol.com 


	3. Nagi with a Fever

Schwarz Shorts! (Thanks to Yotan for the title)  
Brad: Schuldig, this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that my underwear drawer is gone, would it?  
Warnings: Boredom. OOC. Stupidity. Shounen-ai implied.  
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Farfarello floated around his room, his face twisted up in a strange smile. Nearby Schuldig and Crawford were locked in a hug. Suddenly, Farfarello exclaimed:  
"I love children and flowers and laughter and I can feel God's love!!" Schuldig detached his face from Crawford's.  
"You know, I really hate it when Nagi gets a fever and hallucinates."  
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I'm sure you've figured it out by now. Next=next.  
~IcyBlue360@aol.com~ 


	4. Here, Fluffy...

Schwarz Shorts! (Thanks to Yotan for the title)  
Brad: Schuldig, this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that my underwear drawer is gone, would it?  
Warnings: Boredom. OOC. Stupidity. Shounen-ai implied.  
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Crawford and Nagi stared. Farfarello ran out of his room on all fours, whimpering like a dog. He was wearing a pink-tinted wig reminiscent of a poodle. Schuldig ran after him holding a leash and calling, "Here, Fluffy!"  
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This one was inspired by a half-deaf "friend."  
Continue if you haven't died yet... and dare...  
~IcyBlue360@aol.com~ 


	5. Fireball!

Schwarz Shorts! (Thanks to Yotan for the title)  
Brad: Schuldig, this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that my underwear drawer is gone, would it?  
Warnings: Boredom. OOC. Stupidity. Shounen-ai implied.  
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Crawford and Nagi looked at each other. They were unsure of what to expect. What seemed like a sewing machine had been whining in Schuldig's room for three days. Suddenly, the door burst open.  
Schuldig jumped out, dressed in pink pants and a pink shirt. A black hairband peeked out from under his orange hair; a black cape flapped out behind him.  
"LOOK!" he yelled, twirling. "I'm Lina Inverse! FIIIIRE-BALL!"  
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Still standing? Or, um sitting, or whatever? Keep going! You can do it! ^^;  
~IcyBlue360@aol.com~ 


	6. The Sound of Music

Schwarz Shorts! (Thanks to Yotan for the title)  
Brad: Schuldig, this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that my underwear drawer is gone, would it?  
Warnings: Boredom. OOC. Stupidity. Shounen-ai implied.  
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Nagi woke gradually, a strange feeling creeping through his brain. A song, he decided, a strange song. He sat up to peer at his clock- 3:13 AM. The song got louder and seemed to come from the living room. He got up to go investigate.  
Halfway down the stairs, a strange sight met him, causing his jaw to drop to the floor.  
"...nan-i...na-ze..." Too startled to think clearly, Nagi managed a convincing imitation of a goldfish. Crawford uttered a word Nagi should not have heard and proceeded to chase the younger boy all over the house, while the music of DDR faded out in the background.  
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That's it for now, but... I will be baka- I mean, back! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!  
~IcyBlue360@aol.com~ 


	7. Psychic...Friends?

Schwarz Shorts! (Thanks to Yotan for the title)  
Brad: Schuldig, this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that my underwear drawer is gone, would it?  
Warnings: Boredom. OOC. Stupidity. Etc.  
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"OK, next caller," said Schuldig, tapping the call button.  
...  
"And so, you are having trouble with your love life. Just like everyone else on the planet," Schu concluded, tapping his "Psychic Friend" headphone.  
"Wow, Schuldig! You were exactly right!" squaled the excited ditz on the line.  
"And watch out for the psycho behind you with the knife," said Crawford, bored. The person squealed, causing a loud screeching noise to fill Oracle and Mastermind's ears. Schu winced.  
"You know, you really shouldn't do that to people," said Schu, looking at Crawford under half-closed lids.  
"I know, but it breaks my boredom," said the Oracle, flicking a piece of paper away from his desk.  
"Hey, waitaminute! Where's Farfie?!" broke in Nagi. Schu, Crawford and Nagi all stared at each other.  
...  
At the poor, hapless caller's house, Farfie grinned.  
"This hurts God."  
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See? It took a while, but there IS a new one!  
~IcyBlue360@aol.com~ 


	8. Laundry

Schwarz Shorts! (Thanks to Yotan for the title)  
Brad: Schuldig, this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that my underwear drawer is gone, would it?  
Warnings: Boredom. OOC. Stupidity. Etc.  
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"Well...uh..." Schuldig stared, confronted by the masses of complicated dials on the washing machine in front of him. He pushed two, spun a third, and remembering something Crawford had said about soap, upended the box of Tide into the washing machine. "There, that should about do it!" he said, slamming the door shut and going off to do...whatever Schuldig does. (^_______^)  
---  
A few hours later, Crawford pulled open the door, only to be immediatley consumed by the large fog of white bubbles filling the entire lower story of the house.  
"SCHUUUUULDIG!" he screamed. "WHERE DID ALL THESE BUBBLES COME FROM?!" The redheaded German appeared at the top of the stairs, trying his best to look innocent.  
"Uh...the spin cycle?"  
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Another random addition...   
~IcyBlue360@aol.com~ 


	9. How to Eat a Reese's

HOW THE SCHWARZ EAT REESE'S  
No, I haven't abandoned the Schwarz Shorts. Never have, never will. Hehe.  
I'm brancing out; they're eating Reese's now. Ooh corporate sponsorship.  
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Brad  
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Brad tosses each cup up in the air about thirty feet, and points to two spots on the floor which have been carefully marked. The Reese's land perfectly on the tape-marks, unless you count the fact that they shatter and send pieces of chocolate and peanut butter everywhere. He then walks off, leaving the shattered Reese's, because, hey, if you were the manager of a bunch of nuts like the Schwarz, would YOU have time to eat candy?  
  
Schuldig  
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"OHHHHH, GOD!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Bloodcurdling screams fill the air, then die down again to be replaced by the sound of laborious breathing and sob-choked panting. Then, they start up again.  
"NO! NOT THE REESE'S!!!!!! I'll be good oh god I'll be good I SWEA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Yohji screams.  
  
Farfie  
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Farfie regards carefully the orange package in front of him. Then, after several hours of careful deliberation- because that's about how long it takes to chew through leather straps with your teeth- he pulls out his stash of hidden sporks and begins stabbing the package madly, while screaming "DIE, REESE'S, CHILD OF GOD!!!!"  
  
Nagi  
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Nagi calculates in seconds precisely the advantage of eating the Reese's versus just leaving it there in terms of weight gain and the likelihood of it being poisoned, then uses his telekinetic powers to fling them into the back of Schuldig's head with roughly the velocity of two African swallows flying at top speed while carrying a coconut.  
  
  
  
remember to check out http://www.livejournal.com/~icecoldrose, and Friends page. *grin*  
email: squall_sama@hotmail.com 


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